Moses and Me

Today I felt a little bit like Moses. Not the parting the sea Moses or the spending time with God on a mountain. No, today I was the cowarding Moses trying to convince God He had the wrong person. In Exodus 3 and 4 Moses give reasons why he thinks he is the wrong one. 11 But Moses said to God, "Who am I, that I should go to Pharaoh and bring the Israelites out of Egypt?" "What if they do not believe me or listen to me and say, 'The LORD did not appear to you'?" "O Lord, I have never been eloquent, neither in the past nor since you have spoken to your servant. I am slow of speech and tongue." "O Lord, please send someone else to do it." That was me today. “Not me God, I have never done anything with women’s ministries. I’m the youngest one in the group. Why would anyone listen to me?” “God, I know our church needs help with Sunday school for kids and adults, but can I commit to the time? Do I even know enough about you to teach others?” “God what if I plan something and no one shows up? What if people don’t like my ideas?”
For a while now I have felt God leading me in a new direction when it comes to ministry. Don’t get me wrong, I love Jr. and Sr. high. Girl’s bible study is amazing and I am super excited about our monthly N.B.A’s but I know I can’t be a part of this forever. Having kids makes it a little difficult. Sure when they are first born they just sleep on you and you can sit through a lesson without being a distraction. But now Joshua is at an age where he just wants to move around and be noisy. Unfortunately there is not always someone around to take him so I can participate. Sometimes I feel like I am only there in body but not in mind because I am so distracted. This had been hard for me to accept because I love working with the youth and I have felt lead to minister to them. But like I said I have been feeling like God is leading me in a new direction and I have been trying to tell God that he has chosen then wrong person. Then I read my sisters blog (http://ncypjoshisconfused.blogspot.com/) and it hit me right between the eyes. Am I afraid to do these ministries because I fear how I will do or how others will view me? Yes I was scared of that. But now I am reminded it’s not about me and it’s never been about me. God has given us gifts to better serve HIM. He desires us to join together to glorify HIM. How could be so selfish and self-centered? How could I turn serving God into a self-righteous act. Yes there will be nay sayers, there will be people who don’t like the ideas or how the activity is being executed. NEW FLASH it’s not about that. All I need to concern myself with is making sure that whatever is being done is being done to glorify God. The ministries will be used to further the kingdom and not for self assurance reasons. This may seem like a very “duh” blog but it’s something I need to focus on. I don’t think that time before have been for selfish reasons but I think this is the first time I will be doing something away from Josh’s main ministry. I am very excited to see how God uses me and the women in our church. I just need to make sure when I feel like the nay sayers and getting to loud that I remember to listen to my heavenly Father instead because in the end He is the only one that matters.