For quite some time I have felt very humbled. I think it's one of the main lessons God is trying to teach me since moving out here. Being humbled is NOT easy. There seems to be a once a month occurrence.
I have been very blessed to have a family that I can babysit from my home. This gives me to opportunity to stay at home with Joshua and stay very involved with Church. On the con side, I don't always have the kids when I am scheduled which cuts into our income which is never good. I just found out a few weeks ago that the mom has a new work schedule and I will no longer be watching them. FREAK OUT! So now it's back to looking for a job. I had already gone through this a few times. The first time I didn't really look because I didn't want to be away from Joshua so I didn't put out any effort. The next time I looked for a job it looked like I had a good chance working for Verizon. I had a little phone interview but I told them I would have to clear it with my husband about being away for 5 weeks for training in California and then having to work most Sundays. I never got a call back. As much as I knew I would be great at that job, God did not see it fit for me working there. He really knew what he was doing because just this month that Verizon store closed. Then I also had an interview with a law office. I was so excited and I thought it went very well. Again no call back. This has been very hard for me. When I was in NJ I worked really hard a lot of hours to get into a good management position. I worked to gain the respect of the people I trained and those who trained me. Now, after all that time and hard work I can't find a job. For a while I felt very embarrassed because I couldn't get a job. How hard could it be right? So now I am on attempt number 100 (is what it feels like) for finding a job.
I know that the Lord will provide and sometimes his answer isn't "yes" or "no", its "not right now." from a human perspective this is hard to swallow. We like to know what's going and and what is going to happen. Right now I know what's going on but I have no idea what is going to happen. Like I said I am feeling humbled. Having to walk into place after place asking if they are hiring, driving around town dropping off my resume to places that has nothing to do with sales which is all that is on my resume.
